No Forgiveness In This World
by Soulhearts
Summary: He was carted away. Tortured beyond recognition, abandoned, neglected, forgotten for what seemed an eternity… Although, he supposed, that was his ultimate price for being a war trophy child. Loki had had enough time to reflect on his past, then he'd become restless, and then… he'd lost hope.
1. No Forgiveness In This World

He was carted away. Tortured beyond recognition, abandoned, neglected, forgotten for what seemed an eternity… Although, he supposed, that was his ultimate price for being a war trophy child. Loki had had enough time to reflect on his past, then he'd become restless, and then… he'd lost hope. The man, broken and unrecognizable, had never really had anything handed to him in life. He'd had to work for everything – _fight for everything – _and the man wondered why _he_ had been the one who had ended up like this.

Loki scoffed at himself as his shame rose to the surface. _Of course it's because it has to be someone. I just happened to be the smallest. Then damned Odin decided to take pity on me… what a pathetic waste of his time…_

But even though Loki, now no one's son, truly believed that he deserved his punishment, it didn't stop him from wishing. He badly wished for _someone_ to visit him. _Anyone _would do. All he needed after all this time was a companion to confide in. Someone to at least talk to him! But that was about as likely as returning to Ásgard and his old life…

Loki turned to the lined wall behind him and marked the three-hundredth and sixty-five-day line next to the others. Just another eternity to go…

On his prison bed, the raven-haired man turned numbly on to his side. The realization had hit him fully as he marked that line – he was just an unwanted person. Cast away from everything and everyone he'd ever loved. He closed his eyes as he attempted to fall asleep, and possibly die that way when, suddenly, great stomps were heard down the corridor. Loki ignored them, presuming them to be from a large, possibly drunk guard. The dark haired man curled up into a ball on his well-used bed and continued to drift off to the sound of his hungry stomach, making sounds of dying whales. Gods, when _had_ he last eaten? Loki thought it must have been over two days by now… but, he was used to it. Any fats his thin body had had were most certainly used up long ago; though Loki quickly stuffed himself when food _was _presented.

"Loki?"

That voice. It spun Loki around instantly, his eyes widening as he set them upon a blonde man standing outside his cell. _Thor_.

Thor gripped the bars of Loki's cage and peered in, as if the man was some exotic animal up for auction. Loki sat upright, not bothering with sneers or remarks. Loki was past these; he knew they would get him nowhere.

"Thor." He acknowledged blandly, scratching his left arm anxiously.

Thor looked concerned, but also incredibly happy to see Loki, which made the man confused and sad, although he wasn't sure why. When Loki thought about companionship, he meant someone who wasn't as thick as a brick! _Anyone but his golden-child brother!_

"H– How are you…?" Thor began, hesitantly and awkwardly, his golden hair falling neatly around his face.

"Gee, I'm just perfect!" Loki remarked sarcastically. Upon remembering that he should probably not _offend_ the future ruler of Ásgard, lest his immortality rot in jail, Loki bit his lip to curb all further unpleasant comments. Not that it really mattered if he did or not. Thor only continued to look at him with his sad sapphire eyes, seeing right through his younger brother's pitiful charade.

"Can I come in?" Thor asked quietly, a slight softness in his tone that was distasteful to Loki.

"I don't know, _can you?_" Loki sneered, breaking his 'do-not-offend' rule for the second time. "I don't want to repulse the prince of Ásgard by subjecting his majesty to such a lowly cell as this!"

"Brother…" Thor murmured, rubbing his temples as if he could feel a slight headache coming on. "Do not put your walls up. _Please,_ I came to _talk_ to you, not argue. Every time I've visited, you've had your hackles up. I do not want to be your enemy brother!"

Loki laughed at Thor's words. "Oh dear me, _I'm deeply regretful your majesty!_"

"Loki!" Thor snarled menacingly.

"What would _you _know!?" Loki continued. "How often do you visit? Once a month? I believe it was longer this time… I believe it must've been closer to two? What do you say Thor? How long as it been?"

Thor sighed and motioned to a guard to unlock the cell door so that the blonde prince could step inside.

"I'm sorry Loki, I was caught up." Thor apologised, regret filling his tone.

"Oh, is that what you call it. I expected a little more bravado there I must say… Of course, I still am unclear as to _why _you would even imprison a frost giant. After all, isn't _killing_ more your field? How many have you slayed brother, one thousand? Two thousand? More perhaps? What about the one in front of you, or am I not enough of a _monster_ for you to kill me?" Loki spoke his honest thoughts, wedging the knife between the blonde and himself once again.

Thor became very angry at Loki's words. "You are my brother Loki! Please, stop with this! I cannot bear to look at your face."

"Then _leave!_" Loki yelled, full of hurt and humiliation. "Leave and never come back! That's what you want isn't it! You don't _really_ care what happens to me, you're only here because Frigga _makes_ you visit. Go Thor! Go start a family of your own, marry some nice Æsir woman, have a family together, and even when your kids look to you as they are leaving home, _do not remember me!_"

Tears threatened at the corners of Thor's eyes as he looked down upon his broken brother, covering up his despair by using a thin shield of words.

"Loki," the tall blonde sat down next to his scrawny, half-starved brother and pulled him into a vice embrace. "I will not abandon you. I swear upon my life; because I am your brother… and because I love you."

_Huh, _Loki thought, his moment of weakness in his older brother's arms bringing down his well built mind-walls of protection and defense.

_Maybe there really is forgiveness in this world after all…_

* * *

_Hiiiiiii~! It's me again. This was just a one-shot I wrote a while back and then promptly forgot about.  
I hope you enjoyed it - if you did, please leave a review!_

_See you at my next update: Much Love,  
Soulhearts_


	2. No One Can Truly Forgive

Turning onto his side, the abandoned prince blinked numbly as he awoke. Slowly sitting and drawing himself upright on the dirt covered and flea infested bed, he looked around his tiny jail cell indifferently as he ran a hand through his slimy hair – finding a nit as he did so – and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He once would have been rightly offended by such foul squaller and limited space but he had been living in this tiny, disgusting room for – he shifted slightly in order to scrape another mark across the wall – four-hundred and eight-two days now. More than anything, he was bored out of his mind. With his magic under lock and key, he couldn't even practice that. Though, maybe… maybe things were possibly… changing?

It wasn't like he wanted to get his hopes up or anything but… Thor had been frequenting more recently. It wasn't like he'd admit it aloud, but he enjoyed his brother's visits immensely and every time Ásgard's golden child came, he got a kick from knowing that Odin probably frowned upon his son's visits to the traitor.

Glancing over to the corner of the room, his eyes raked the empty food tray which had remained barren since his last meal four days ago. The dirty metal seemed to glint maliciously at him as his head swam, making him nauseous. All the food he'd saved under his pillow was gone as well… not that mouldy bread and lard was really food at all. When would Thor come again? They always fed him on the days that his brother came…

Sighing lethargically, Loki leaned his back against the cold stony wall as he hummed an old childhood lullaby. Frigga had sung it to him more times than he could count as a child and every Æsir knew at least the first verse. He calmly allowed the words to form in his mind, and soon he was softly singing. Closing his eyes he started to sway a little, drowning himself in the almost mournful tune…

_Carry my son's,_

_West and waywardly,_

_Over the golden fields and land,_

_Winds of time…_

_Wash away your sins,_

_Your soul is clean again,_

_Please return you to me,_

_Oh winds of time…_

Loki allowed himself a little smile as he heard the guard outside the door join in jovially for the third verse wherein the lyrics depicted the soldiers returning gloriously from battle. By the time Loki had reached the fourth verse about the mother's loss, he was so engrossed and lost within the song that he didn't hear the guard outside abruptly stop or the heavy footsteps echoing down the corridor. It was only when the cell door whooshed open, smashing loudly against the wall opposed did he stop warbling out the melodic tune.

Angrily opposite from him was a man that Loki had thought for sure he would never see again. A man he loathed but longed for praise from with every fibre of his being; so much that it hurt to be unable to cry in front of him. _Why couldn't this man love him as he loved Thor?_

"Odin," he greeted calmly, keeping tight control over any wavering tones in his voice. "What does bring the merciful King of Ásgard into my humble cell?"

"Silence!" Odin ordered angrily.

Loki had no idea why the man he'd once called father was so furious at him. Ordinarily the man was so stoic, especially in front of Loki. Whenever Loki had come crying to him as a child, Odin had pasted on his stoicism thickly and told him to take it like a man. Loki had been told to stop his crying immediately because it was unbecoming and improper for a future warrior of Ásgard to cry. Apparently his words had sunk in; Loki had closed off his heart to the world and discarded most of his emotions. If he was to remain in his little cell forever, Thor would one day enter to find nothing but an empty shell of the man he'd once called his brother. Every week since his last day in the sun, he'd discarded one emotion after another. Greed, sadness, fury, wonder, joy… they were all gone. What did he need with such emotions anyway? A frost giant wasn't supposed to have any feelings according to the Æsir fairytales. They were cold, brutal monsters. Loki was only trying his hardest to fit into the mould that his family had told him he belonged in.

"You were chanting a curse; I could hear you from the hallway!"

Loki's brow furrowed in confusion and then it wrinkled even more in order to hide the amusement that he was secretly feeling. _That _was what Odin thought he had been doing? Chanting a curse in order to escape? Innocent singing – trying to keep his hope alive – was wrongly mistaken for evil frost giant magic. Of course it was… Gods only knew that Odin needed another reason to punish him.

"I apologise, I didn't realising singing was against the law now." Loki tried to bite back the quip, but it escaped before he could consciously stop it.

Further enraged by Loki's response, Odin called for the guard outside.

"What crime did this creature commit?" Odin asked the guard as he stepped inside the filthy chamber.

"He committed treason of the highest order, attempted to enslave the inhabitants of Midgard and has committed in total, seventeen singular crimes as decreed by the Royal High Court of Ásgard."

Odin nodded silently before he questioned the guard again.

"And what was he doing just now?"

The guard was stumped. Loki could practically see the man's brain working, if he hadn't have been in such a serious situation he might've laughed.

"Uhh… d-disturbing the peace, your Majesty."

Odin's nostrils flared. "Very well, how would you normally reprimand a violation such as this?"

"A week without rations, sir."

Odin nodded again. "Alright, I expect this to be carried out."

"Yes, your highness!"

Odin left the little cell and the guard quickly followed. Loki could see that the stench of urine and sweat had been affecting the pair more than they'd let on. It didn't matter if Thor came now. He wouldn't be fed until next Friday. _Crap. _Another week without food… he _obviously_ wasn't thin enough. In the back of his mind he wondered how Odin could do this to him without any regret in his heart. Loki had been his _son! _How could the man so easily discard so many centuries of love and affection?

Turning his thoughts back to Thor, Loki genuinely began to wonder when his brother would visit him again. Thor was the only person that treated him half humanely. After all the emotions he had carelessly discarded, the one he knew he would never forget would be the love he'd felt from his elder brother. When Loki did eventually become a hollow shell, and when they started running tours through the prison so that people could gawk at the traitorous prince, when he had literally nothing left… even when this would all surely come to pass, he would still have Thor. Thor would always come for him. Thor loved him. His older brother would be the one thing keeping him alive when the centuries came and went.

_Because Thor was the only one who could truly forgive him…_

* * *

Hello... So I know I said this was a one-shot *sigh* turns out I felt the need to write another chapter and... maybe even a third one...  
I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review if you did.

Much Love,  
Soulhearts


	3. Please Forgive Me

Looking at the mark he'd made, Loki touched it before putting down the stone in his hand and resting his head against the wall.

_Five-hundred and seventy-two._

That was how many days he'd been inside the tiny jail cell he now called home. He'd made his peace with it. He wasn't angry anymore. He wasn't sad or furious or mad… in fact, he felt nothing. There was nothing but an empty numb feeling inside his chest; a feeling that had become progressively worse in the last three months. There was a reason, but Loki didn't want to admit how much Thor's absence was hurting him.

Thor had promised to visit him. He'd said that he wasn't alone. Thor had _promised_…

Loki's chin trembled as he silently shed tears – something he wasn't aware he could still do. Any emotion was different from the numbness; anything was better than allowing himself to sink further into that hazy grey he wasn't sure he'd find his way out from.

"You lied to me too, didn't you…" Loki muttered to the wall, his long, disgusting hair covering his mumbling mouth. "You had your fun playing the caring brother… but you got bored. I guess I'm no fun to play with anymore."

Suddenly he was overcome by a fit of laughter. _It was too good! Oh gods, it was so funny! _

"That's right! I'm your toy, aren't I?" Loki laughed loudly, his eyes looking up madly as he flung open his arms. "Look at the freak in the cage children! Roll up, roll up, first class freak-show entertainment! You won't find a better place than here!"

"Gods Thor," he continued ranting with insane mirth. "Am I boring now? Am I no fun to play with? _That's right little Thor, mummy and daddy found you a little puppy to take care of. When you don't want him anymore, just cast him out. If you don't like this little puppy Thor, I'm sure we can get you another one!_"

All the laughing and shouting suddenly had Loki feeling nauseous and it wasn't very long before he threw up the only thing in his stomach – some sour milk and mush which was probably the leftovers from the pig pen. Every day he felt himself getting weaker. Everyday his mind would disappear into the haze for hours on end. His magic was so weak it might as well have been non-existent. It was all so… terrifying.

"Be quiet in there!" yelled a guard from outside the door. Loki didn't respond as he was still up-chucking the contents of his insides, but he heeded the warning.

Eventually, when he was done vomiting, the ex-prince lay down on his tiny, unclean bed and closed his eyes from fatigue. Sleepily he wondered if his illness was due to his loss of magic – the whole cell was engineered to drain any seiðr away from the occupant after all – and his magic had been drained away from him for almost two years; his reserves were almost fully depleted. He silently mused that he probably didn't have much time left. His entire being was built on magic and without it… well… he'd… die.

Slowly his thoughts started to drift back to his brother, but this time they weren't anything but curious musings. How was his elder brother doing? Had he found himself a nice wife yet (maybe even that Midgardian woman); had they married? It had probably been a lovely ceremony – it was a shame that he'd missed it... And mother… dear old Frigga… how was she? She didn't visit him, why was that? She was probably too busy; she had no time for him.

His thoughts were interrupted when his chest suddenly seized up and he broke out into wild, hacking coughs. When his coughing let up, he lay his head back down onto the pillow and curled up into a ball. He was tired… so very tired. Loki didn't want to fight this anymore… It would be better to give it up and throw it in. He was done. Thor's total absence and Odin's single outburst at him several months ago proved to him that he should just go quietly.

* * *

Several days later thundering footsteps echoed down the hallway and Thor turned around the corridor, his expression starting to turn grim as he prepared himself for what he was about to face. For four months he hadn't visited his brother. Four long months; breaking his last promise to his younger sibling. Loki probably hated him now.

It wasn't his fault either. Odin had forbid him from ever visiting Loki, but Thor had finally managed to convince the Allfather that his presence was needed where Loki was concerned.

Thor secretly knew that Odin didn't hate his youngest child as many claimed that he now did. Odin loved Loki, it was clear as day when the old man spoke about him, but the old man had no idea how to express his love and the anger and betrayal he felt towards Loki was clouding his judgement. Frigga had become angry at him for his awful handling of the situation.

"_Do you not care about our son at all?! You would see him rot in jail for all eternity rather than try and salvage what is left of him! He can be saved Odin, why won't you help him?" _Frigga had screamed, tears streaking unchecked down her flushed cheeks as she begged to know the reasons behind her husband's actions.

Thor had been forced to step in as a mediator between his parents. The whole situation with Loki had put the entire family's relations on a tight strain. After his mother had completely fallen to pieces, Thor had decided action was necessary.

Taking a deep breath, Thor knocked on the solid wooden door as he softly called his brother's name.

"Loki?"

Thor's chest gave a little pang when there was no reply from within. _Loki must hate him so much_. He was an awful big brother. "Loki? I'm coming in, okay?"

When there was still no reply, the older sighed and motioned for the guard to open the door. The guard hurried to comply with the crown prince's order and as soon as the door was unlocked, the regally dressed prince entered. Stepping inside, Thor's gaze immediately fell on Loki's frame and what he saw broke his heart.

On the little bed Thor's younger brother lay dishevelled, dirty and thin as a garden rake. His face was pale and pasty and a light sheen of sweat lay over his forehead. At the noise, Loki was jolted awake and was startled to find Thor standing before him. Unexpectedly, he gave a little smile as he looked at the older Æsir who seemed ever the same as usual – a stark comparison to how he was feeling.

Thor took the few steps required to kneel in the muck by his brother's bedside and his face immediately contorted in concern as he saw how lifeless those once sparkling eyes had become.

"Loki," the older breathed as he pushed back Loki's greasy black bangs from his sweat covered face. "What has happened to you?"

Thor was practically beside himself as he noted how unhealthy his sibling was. No prisoner should live like this, especially not his brother – a once-prince of Ásgard.

"Thor…" Loki practically spat out on a cough. "Why… are you…?"

"Hush little brother, don't speak. I fear you may get worse if you exert yourself." Thor quieted his Jötun brother whom unexpectedly listened to his words. "Loki, I'm going to get you out of here. You should not be living in such conditions as these…"

Thor hoisted Loki up in his arms and the green-eyed man gave a little start as the stronger did so. Thor carried him out of the magic-suppressing cell and Loki immediately felt the effects. It was like someone had lifted a great weight from his chest that he hadn't known he'd been carrying. His magic was slow to return at first, but then it was like he'd pulled a numb limb in from the cold and the sensations in his limb were returning with a pins-and-needles like pain. Eventually it grew stronger and stronger and the return of his magic felt like he was going to be crushed. He screamed and suddenly he was thrashing in Thor's arms so much that the Æsir had to put him down.

Thor looked on as Loki's face expressed a pain beyond words and his mouth gasped in silent screams; it didn't take long for the Jötun to pass out.

Thor wept silently, picking Loki up as his brother fell unconscious.

"_I'm so sorry Loki. Please forgive me…"_

* * *

Oh-yo! It's me again. I hope you liked this chapter :) Please review if you want me to continue. I feel like it could end here or I could add a fuller ending with a chapter or so. Please let me know what you think.

Much Love,  
Soulhearts


	4. The King Who Knew Not Of Forgiveness

"How does he fare?"

The fourth member of the royal family entered the discarded prince's bedroom where Thor and Frigga already awaited, both sitting in solemn silence. Thor's mouth was pressed into a thin line and his brows were almost knit together from obvious concern and a hint of anger etched into the muscles of his fair, but unshaven face. Frigga sat beside her youngest son, her face an ashen colour and her shaking hands sitting neatly in her lap.

Odin obviously expected an answer, but Frigga was too distraught to even open her mouth and Thor was so upset that he knew if he spoke, he'd simply end up yelling at his father. When Odin did not receive any word from either of the other two people in the room, the old man sighed and walked around to Loki's bedside.

Thor watched his father carefully as he went to stand behind Frigga. The heir to the throne had never felt so betrayed before – and recently betrayal had been the new _in _thing in his life. How could Odin possibly stand here, look down at his son and claim that he'd simply been doing what was best? Loki had nearly died!

Eventually, Thor felt he could hold his tongue no longer. The longer he looked at Odin, the more furious he became. He felt almost overwhelmed his anger.

"This is _your _fault," the eldest prince whispered. Although Thor's whisper had barely been audible, because of the complete and total silence in the room, everyone heard him. "You nearly killed my brother!"

Odin turned to him, his face hardening as he walked closer to his elder son.

"If your brother had not committed such crimes he never would have been imprisoned in the first place. I've no guilt upon my mind for what I did and what I will do again. Once he is declared healthy enough, he _will _return to his cell.

"_Have you no heart?!" _Thor replied, incensed by the unfeeling words Odin had spoken without regret. "Are you honestly going to leave him in that cell for the rest of eternity?"

"Thor, his sentence is not eternity–"

"It might as well be!" Thor interjected in his booming voice. "What happens next time, Father? What happens if we're too late? What happens if I go to visit my brother one day and he really is dead!? The reason I hadn't been visiting him in the first place was because of _your _orders and when I eventually did get down there, I found not my brother but a sick and broken man who was emaciated and whose seiðr – whose _life source_ – was being drained away from him! You really do not care whether he lives or dies."

Thor's last words had meant to be a question, but they seemed to come out more as a statement and even Thor was unintentionally hurt by his own expression.

"You would not understand." Odin responded quietly, turning back to his youngest son whose breathing had become awfully shallow. "I love Loki, I love him just as much as you do…"

"I do not see how." Thor clenched his jaw before walking over to Loki's bedside and sitting down upon the emerald, velvet rug which lay over his brother's quilt. "I do not know how you could possibly look at what you've done to your son and say it was for the best… I just do not understand you, Father…"

Thor reached over and tucked a black lock behind Loki's ear with a short, shallow smile before reaching for his brother's lifeless hand and clasping it between his own.

"I…" Odin suddenly began to speak again and Thor looked up silently. "I regret disallowing you to visit your brother…"

Frigga's eyebrows shot up and she sucked in a breath as Thor's own eyes widened in disbelief. _His _father admitting a mistake? It was impossible!

"I should not have been so foolhardy. It was wrong of me to make that declaration." Odin swallowed and closed his eyes for the briefest of moments. "I am sorry… If I had not done that, Loki's condition never would have gone on this long. He… never would have become so ill…"

Thor said nothing but simply shook his head. Odin surely wasn't feeling guilt. No, his father could not feel anything – he'd locked away all conflicting emotions when he and Loki had still been children. Besides, his father surely had never felt love for Loki. At least, he couldn't have, considering what he had done to his adoptive son and what he planned on continuing to do.

"They are all wrong about him, father." Thor stated, looking back down at Loki's colourless face. "He may be Jötun but he is certainly not the monster in the room. _You _might believe he is; _he _might even believe he is… but I remember my baby brother. He'd never been able to hurt so much as even an insect when we were young… But then, you were the one who caused such change in him, weren't you? You'd tell him – tell us both – to just grow up and get over it. You'd tell us that crying was a sign of weakness and a king couldn't have any weaknesses. Loki was so innocent and full of shame… he tried _so hard _to be everything you wanted – everything we _all _wanted him to be. Somewhere along the way we erased who he really was, who he really wanted to be. Somehow we turned him into someone capable of coldblooded murder…"

Frigga let out a broken sob and covered her face with her hands. Thor looked up at his mother who seemed to be unable to curb the unchecked tears streaking down her face. Then, without fanfare or warning, a tiny, rasping voice broke through Frigga's quiet wailing.

"Thor…" Breathed the voice, which broke with unbidden relief. "You came for me…"

* * *

**So, hi. I meant to update this months ago but that never happened. I know it says complete but so many people asked for me to add another extra chapter, so I did. However, this isn't the end. I have one more chapter to share with you before this short story is complete. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this and don't forget to leave a review if you can :)**

**Much Love,**  
**Soulhearts**


	5. There Is Always Forgiveness Here

**Yo~! Okay everyone, this is the final chapter. Thank you for sticking with me this long and I hope you enjoyed. This was originally intended to be a one-shot but, well, it clearly didn't stay that way. I am so thrilled to have finally finished this story as it had been weighing on me for quite some time now. Again, thanks for reading and I hope you liked it. Farewell my lovely readers, without you this story never would have been finished.**

**Much Love,  
Soulhearts**

* * *

Loki felt himself move in the darkness. His body and mind were surrounded by a blackness that could only be called a moonless night and he found himself standing on a shore of black sand where an inky dark sea washed upon it and over his feet. He turned to face the black ocean, but as he did he noticed a speck of light emanating from the midnight sky above him. The more he stared at it, the more he began to think it the moon, however, when he suddenly felt himself being propelled towards this light at a disconcerting speed, he quickly braced himself for impact. He had not wanted to go toward the moon but, inexplicably, something was pulling him forward, dragging him from his peaceful world of darkness and solitude.

Loki's eyes fluttered open, the brightness of the world startling him and his hearing kicked in only to reveal one singular and instantly recognisable voice talking in distressed, angry tones.

"Thor…" He finally found his voice and it broke unintentionally as he rose into a sitting position very slowly and deliberately

At this, the blonde Æsir adjusted himself on Loki's bed so he could look to where the voice came from. Loki had never been more relieved to see his older brother. He thought Thor had abandoned him. He hadn't seen Thor in over four months and he truly believed that Thor no longer cared. Whilst there was still dark doubt lurking in his chest, Loki couldn't help but feel anything other than overwhelming relief. He did not _want _to feel anything other than relief, and so for the first time in his life, he cut himself a break and didn't allow the other conflicting emotions inside his heart or his mind. Nothing else mattered but Thor, because Thor had done as he'd promised and returned to him once again.

"You came for me…"

"_Loki!_" Thor flung himself onto his little brother, pulling him into a tight embrace and stroking the back of Loki's hair.

Loki gingerly lifted a hand to gently pat Thor on the back with all the energy he could muster before his hand fell limply to his side.

"I thought you were going to die…" Thor whispered into Loki's ear giving him a little squeeze, his voice thick with emotion.

"I'm sorry I made you worry, Thor." Loki breathed, the effort of speaking still draining him of vast amounts of energy.

It was only when Thor pulled back from his crushing hug did Loki actually notice the other two people in the room. His eyes fell on an emotional Frigga first, but quickly following, he saw the stoic vision of his fath—Odin – standing at the foot of his bed.

Loki sucked in a shaky breath as their eyes locked. He quickly remembered that Odin saw him as nothing more than a war criminal now and he recalled being disowned by the man in front of him over a year ago now. Loki quickly looked away, shame rising in his cheeks and heating them. He didn't exactly know _why _he felt such shame, only that he did. However, there were a number of conflicting emotions that Loki was barraged with as soon as his eyes rested upon his once-father. He tried to push them all away but they stuck stubbornly to his heart like static cling.

Neither Loki nor Odin said anything for three long minutes and Frigga and Thor had enough common sense not to speak, for the tension in the room was simply too high. Plainly, one could very well slice the air as though it were butter. When the silence in the room became even too much for the old king to bear, he huffed and sighed.

"Thor, Frigga, could you leave us both for a moment?" Odin asked, his face looking weathered and torn.

Frigga simply nodded, stood and made her way quietly out the room. Thor glared at his father for a long minute before he eventually left as well. Behind the two royals, the doors to Loki's chambers closed and immediately Odin warded it from listening ears which gave Loki reason to be apprehensive.

With a tiny sigh, Odin shuffled over to Loki's bed and sat down. The disowned prince watching the old man hesitantly the entire time but saying nothing, knowing he'd simply be wasting the little energy he had.

"Loki, my son…" Odin began before he was harshly interrupted by a frail whisper.

"Please, Odin, King of Ásgard, do not call me by a title you stripped of me. I am son of no one now, as so you declared and shall forevermore be." At the end of his cutting words a hacking cough harshly ran through Loki's fragile frame.

"No, you are still my son." Odin declared firmly, preparing himself to completely break down his walls of kingly defence so that he could finally speak as a father. "And I have wronged you. I have greatly wronged you, my son."

At this, Loki was left completely speechless. He had not thought it possible to be rendered quite this muted simply by someone else's words but yet…

"Loki I have committed heinous crimes. When I heard what you had done and then I saw you with my own eyes I was… I felt grievously betrayed. What was worse and what cut so deeply was the fact that this betrayal had come from my youngest son, the one to whom I had once entrusted my kingdom to and the one I believed could never go out and murder on his own. I was blinded by my own anger and I could not see past it to look at why you had hurt me so…"

Loki simply swallowed, a dry lump forming in his throat and tears threatening in the corners of his eyes. He did not want to hear this. He did not. He knew how this would end anyway. It would still end with Odin blaming him. It was always he, always _Loki _who did wrong in the house of Odin. There was none other who wronged or betrayed like he did, there was none other who was a trickster or a liar or one who hurt with words instead of weapons. None other than the greatest liar of all: Odin, the one who sat before him now. However, Odin was king. He made no mistakes. He rarely admitted them even if he did. It was simply easier for everyone to blame the less popular prince… or war criminal now…

"You… you still think I am to blame though, do you not? I am still the one who has done all the wrongs. No one else _ever _betrayed me or lied to me, _did they?!_"

Odin felt his eyes soften with pity as he looked at his dark-haired son who so desperately avoided his gaze and gripped the bed sheets so tightly that his knuckles had gone white.

"Loki, you _did _do those terrible things – this much is assuredly true. However, I know I was the one who started it all. _I _was the one to drive you to such extremes. Not only this, but I pushed you away. I pushed you further and further away until I could not even recognise my son for what I had forced him to become. Every time I tried to show my love or simply correct a mistake you'd made, I only made things worse, I only hurt you more. Even after… even after I told you what you were… I should have been there for you, Loki. I know all you sought was my love and yet for some reason I did not know how to show it to you."

"Enough…" Loki muttered quietly, his gaze still fixed determinedly on the bed as he willed himself not to spill tears in front of this man.

"No Loki, it is not enough." Odin continued, blatantly ignoring Loki's weak attempts to make him stop. "It will never be enough, my son, it never has. I have _never _been enough of a father to you."

"Please…" Loki's chin trembled and his dirty hair covered his hanging face. "Please say no more. Please, your love is… it was something I wanted for so long, but I do not want it now. I do not want you to lie to me anymore. Why do you still lie to me even now? Why can you not be honest with me, at least once in your lifetime?"

"Very well," Odin replied his voice nearly breaking. Loki's words cut deeply into his heart, deeper than Loki could ever know. Odin wondered how he was even able to speak after Loki stabbed him so ruthlessly with merely his words. "Then hear this, my child, for what I say now is nothing but the truth and it something I've wanted to say to you everyday of your life since you were but a babe: Loki Odinson, I love you very much, my son. I love you more than I could ever express through words and… perhaps it is time we start anew… Perhaps it is time for me to become the king that this realm and this family needs me to be. Perhaps we should put the past behind us…"

"Yet you will still have me serve out my sentence." Loki replied spitefully.

"No…" Odin sighed, reaching a palm out towards his son and then resting it on the nape of Loki's thin neck. Loki flinched at the unexpected contact and looked up unintentionally, Odin meeting his eyes and discovering something akin to fear. "We shall put that behind us too, my son. You have suffered enough."

"But…" Loki's gaze faltered and dropped back down to the bed sheets. Odin could see his son trembling and he quickly realised that silent tears were streaming from Loki's eyes when he saw wet spots suddenly appear on the cover of the bed. "You… you cannot mean that…"

Odin felt his entire heart crack through the middle. Loki couldn't even trust the plain words he spoke. He had done so much damage and he knew not what to do to make things right again.

"I do, my son…" Odin's own silent tears began to slide down his cheeks but he let them fall, not managing to find the will to wipe them away.

Odin pulled Loki into his embrace and he quickly felt his boy go limp in his arms before the younger brought his arms up around his father's back and clung onto his shirt with a mighty grip.

"I love you, Loki. I really do. I won't lose you again to my blind judgement or poor personality. I love you my son. Never forget that."

At this, a little hiccup escaped from Loki's mouth and shortly after, the younger prince was sobbing endlessly into his father's shirt.

"I… I love you too, father." He eventually managed to stutter out along with a sob layered with broken emotion. Odin simply squeezed his boy tighter to him and began stroking his hair in deliberate, calming motions, vowing never to hurt his son like this again – vowing to be a better father, a better man and a better king.

And it was like this that Loki finally forgave himself for who he was and what he had done. Loki had not thought himself capable of forgiveness but then, he had not thought Odin capable of freely giving him love either. He had not even thought himself _worthy _of love, but until he forgave Odin… until he forgave _himself_, he would not know love, nor would he be able to move forward. Only when he forgave his past would he be able to look to his future, only when he admitted his mistakes would he be able to learn from them, only when he let down his barriers would love be able to enter in.

_Ah, _Loki thought to himself, his face still buried in his father's shirt. _What a fool I have always been._

_There will always remain forgiveness in this world for those who pursue it._


End file.
